My Idiot, My Peanut?
by Akatsuki-Members
Summary: “…… Should we help him or something?” Sakura asked.“I-I think so” Hinata Agreed.“He‘ll be fine” Tenten said.“Are you sure?” Ino said looking at him.“YES!” Tenten yelled as she held the kuni in a stabbing position. “OKAY!” They yelled quickly.
1. The dare

Mena: Okay say it!

Gaara: Do I have to?

Ariel: Gaara, she'll annoy you until you say it, hell I will annoy you until you say it, now say it.

Gaara: I don't want to.

Mena, Ariel: SAY IT DAMMIT!

Gaara: No.

Ariel: Oh, I know. Gaara, if you say it I'll give you a cookie.

Gaara: Fine They don't own Naruto or any of the characters. Now give me my cookie...Okay I want another.

Ariel: No.

Mena: ROCK ON PEOPLE! ENJOY THE FIC!

Ariel: What she said, and some characters are OOC, just so you know.

-------

My Idiot, My Peanut!?

Ch 1: The Dare.

It's been four years since Sasuke and Sakura had started dating. They had there ups and downs, but everything got patched up. So lets see what The gang is up to, shall we?

"NANI!?!?!?!"

"Will you guys calm down!" scolded a seventeen year old Sakura.

"Yea, it's not that big of a deal!" a nineteen year old Sasuke chimed in.

"Well sorry gosh." Tenten said.

"Yea and it is a big deal Uchiha!" Neji yelled

"So, when are we going!" Ino asked excitedly.

"Well I'm guessing a day before Sakuras birthday This is going to be so troublesome" said the lazy bum we all know and love, Shikamaru.

"W-where a-are we g-going a-again?" Hinata said while pushing her index fingers together nervously.

"Hinata! Stop doing that!" Naruto scolded. (Mena: W.O.W! O.O Ariel: Well damn Naruto, give the poor girl a heart attack why don't you.)

"We are going on vacation to the land of holly wood!" Sasuke said. (Mena: Land!? Ariel: Weird)

"Your right Shikamaru, a day before my birthday," Sakura said.

"LIKE OMG, THAT'S TWO DAYS FROM NOW WHAT IM A GOING TO PACK! SHIKA, WE HAVE TO GO SHOPPING ASAP! RIGHT GIRLS?!" Ino screamed.

"Troublesome women..." Shikamaru muttered.

"Sorry Ino, Sasuke said he take me." Sakura said clinging to Sasuke's arm.

"Hey, no I didn't- OW!" (Mena: HAHA Ariel: Sucks for you man)

"Right Sasuke-KUN" She asked or more like stated with the whole message in her eyes.

"Y-yes Oh wonderful Cherry Blossom of mine." Sasuke panicked.

"Good" She said satisfied.

"COME ON HINATA, I'LL TAKE YOU SHOPPING TOO!!" Naruto said dragging Hinata with him. (Mena: O.O Ariel: Whoa, Naruto wanting to shop, shocking)

"Lets go Neji." Tenten said, as he followed suit, he knew not to say no to Tenten or else all hell would break loose.

Of course, they all went in separate directions

Well, let me give you the background info here. Ino and Shika are going out after Ino kissed him forcefully in front of Temari, he was so dazed all he said was "I don't think that was so troublesome.." In a dreamy tone. Then she asked if he will go out with her and he said "Do I have a choice?" "No" "All right, lets go."

Neji and Tenten were going out, because they made a bet that Tenten can beat him in a kunai throwing contest. He said, "No thanks" "Awww, is Neji too scared to go against big bad Tenten?" "No" "Chicken! I think you should cut you hair and have it like Sasukes!" "HEY!!" "SORRY SASUKE!! Not really" "I heard that!" "hehehe"

"Come on Neji," She begged again. "No thanks," Then she started to the chicken dance while singing the lyrics. "FINE!" Well, Neji lost and Teten won the bet.

Hinata and Naruto are going out too, Hinata was about to tell him that she liked him and all she got out was "N-Naruto-kun ummm-," but he interrupted her. "Hinata I'm sorry I haven't told you before, but I like you a lo,t and I was wondering if you would want to go out with me?!?" but she fainted when he apologized, but he didn't notice. So, he rushed her to the hospital, thinking she needed immediate medical attention. On the way, she woke up and screamed "YES!!" (Which probably left Naruto in a shocked state) And. That's that.

Presently, Sasuke won 8 free tickets to the LAND of Holly Wood, so he decided to take Sakura there for her birthday. Sakura had begged Sasuke to let their friends to come along, he soon gave into her puppy dog face and agreed. So here they are now getting ready to go on vacation. All they have to do now is work up the courage to ask Tsunade if they can go, but everyone knows Sakura has to do it even though she doesn't want to. Sasuke was getting a bit worried though, he's been having these dreams lately about his brother, Itachi. So he kept his guard up, every time he was with Sakura

"Sasuke-kun I want that bathing suit!" Sakura exclaimed.

"But it's 50 Dollars!" (Why the heck would anyone want a 50 dollar bathing suit?)

"Pwees Sasu-kuuun," She begged.

"-Sigh- Fine"

This is going to be one hell of a day,' He thought

Yup, but think about it,' His inner replied.

I am thinking about it.'

NO, BAKA! Look at the bathing suit, it's going to be a great vacation!' His inner exclaimed joyfully.

"You BAKA! Your such a perv!" Although, Sasuke didn't realize he said that out loud, until he noticed people staring. Crap,' he thought.

"What?! Can't someone tell themselves that their inner is a perv! HUH!?" He snapped..

Everyone just looked at him like he was crazy even Sakura. So, she just rushed out with a quick BYE!'. Once Sasuke was done paying, Sakura was in a daze. She had this dreamy look on her face, and there were little sparkles around her. Sasuke looked at what she was gazing at, and it turned out she was staring at... MICHAEL JACKSON!... Kidding, it was a...Tree.

"Ummm Sakura are you okay?"

"Whaaa?" She asked ,still in daze.

"I said, are you okay?!" He repeated.

"Yea, why?"

"Why are you looking at the tree?"

She suddenly went up to the tree, hugged it, and said, "I love you tree"

"Y-y-you don't love me anymore!?" Sasuke asked, crying anime style.

"I love you both."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"OMFG!"

"What is it?" asked the shark man we all know as Kisame.

"That was the worst dream ever!" Itachi exclaimed.

"Whatever, maybe the nail polish fumes are getting to your head." Kisami said as he left.

At the mention of nail polish, Itachi looked at his finger nails. He then went to his night stand, that had little teddy bears on it and picked up his precious nail polish and started doing his nails.

"Crap!..Messed up."Then he re-did them, but then he dropped the polish bottle on his weasel pajamas.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"KEEP IT DOWN WILL YOU, YEAH!!!" His roommate, Deidara yelled, banging on the wall.

"OH, STFU YOU HAVE HORRIBLE NAILS, SO I WOULDN'T BE TALKING!!!" Itachi screeched.

Then he heard footsteps, and his door slammed open.

"WELL AT LEAST IM NOT OBSESSED, YEAH!!!"

"I AM NOT DEIDARA!!" Itachi said

"But I must tell you, you do a good job, yeah."

"Oh.. Really thanks." He said like a teenage girl.

"Yea, you should do mine sometime, yeah"

"Oh! -Giggles- I can do them now! I've got spare polish! I always carry one with me."

"Okay, Yeah!" Deidara exclaimed.

And they spent the rest of the day they had left doing each others nails and giggling like little girls. ----------

Well the day has come to an end, and the two days went by quickly. All that was left was Sakura's sleep over, so they don't have to worry about

picking every one up the next day, since they were leaving early. It was already 9 PM and every one was present.

"So, what should we do?" Tenten asked.

"Oh! Lets play truth or dare," Ino exclaimed.

"Oh, come on woman we don't want to play that."

"PLAY IT!" The girls said forcefully, and the lights suddenly went off, and they held flashlights under there faces so they looked scary. Even Hinata did it, and she

didn't stutter. (Wee-eeird)

"OKAY!" They all said quickly.

"Good," Sakura said sweetly, once the lights were back on. They all then threw the flashlights in random places, and you could hear a cat yowl at being hit with one.

"Okay. Me first, then Sakura, Sasuke, Tenten, Neji, Hinata, Naruto, and Shika-kun!" Ino said.

Everyone agreed and the game began.

"Okay ummm.. Neji Truth or dare?!"

"Dare," Neji Said.

" I dare you to hug Naruto for 5 minutes." Ino said evilly.

"NO WAY, HE SMEELS FUNKY AND I'M NOT GAY!" Neji screeched.

"I DO NOT SMELL! AND I DON'T WANT TO HUG NEJI!!!!" Naruto screamed.

"Then you'll have to wash Narutos feet," Sakura joined in.

"Damn, fine!" he said defeated.

Naruto was already up and protesting, so Neji got up, charged at Naruto, and hugged his struggling form.

"NEJI, GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!!!" Naruto screamed, pissed.

"THIS HURTS ME MORE THEN IT HURTS YOU UZUMAKI!" Neji reassured.

"3.2.1.0... -DING- GOOD JOB NEJI!" Every one said as they were laughing their heads off.

"My turn!" Sakura called out.

"NARUTO! Truth or dare!?" She asked

"Dare!" He cried, ready for anything.

"I dare you to Be an ice cube like how Sasuke was and how Neji is" She said.

"OKAY!" He said happily.

Suddenly Naruto grew quiet, closed his eyes, and put his head down. When he looked back up, he took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and they were cold and emotionless. And all he said was "Hn."

"WHOA!" Every one shouted.

"Oh yeah, no ramen." Sakura said, as an after thought.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"A-HEM," Tenten said.

"I mean. Whatever." Naruto said.

"Hey I got an Idea!" Tenten Exclaimed. "Why don't we pretend to be like one another for the whole day tomorrow. And remaining of today."

Every one agreed so Ino put her and Shika's name cause Shikamaru was sleeping, NaruHina, SasuSaku, and NejiTen.

People drew from the hat: Naruto and Hinata got Tenten and Neji, Ino and Shikamaru got Naruto Hinata, Sasuke snd Sakura got Ino Shika, and Neji and Tenten got Sasuke and Sakura. Since Sasuke acts like Neji and Neji acts like Sasuke, they all agreed that Tenten has to play Sasuke, and Neji plays Sakura. (Mena: ROFL! Ariel: LMAO!)

Silencecting on!

"Well Ino-pig, what should we do now?" Neji asked much like Sakura.

"I-I d-don't k-know," Ino said very much like Hinata.

"Well, its already 11:15. Maybe we should go to bed, since we have to wake up early," Hinata said, not stuttering like Tenten.

"Good idea, even a hot party girl like me needs my rest!" Sakura said much like Ino.

Sasuke was already fake snoring like Shikamaru. The real Shikamaru took a deep breath and;

"WAKE UP TEME!!!!" Shikamaru cried.

"Wha!? -Sigh- Troublesome." Sasuke said.

Naruto and Tenten smirked, and they all went to bed.


	2. SORRY MENA'S NOTE

**SORRY PEOPLE I WONT BE UPDATING THIS FANFIC FOR A WHILE, I HAVE TO CATCH UP WITH THE OTHER ONE'S. SORRY! READ AND REVIEW THANKS.**


	3. I SAW YOU ON TV!

Mena: Alright Neji would you care do the honors?

Neji:….

Mena: Grabs bucket of water Say It!

Neji: ….

Mena: Dumps water on Neji's hair Say it or ill-

Neji: She dose NOT own naruto! … Great Now my hairs frizzy!

Mena: LMAO!!

Ch 2: I SAW YOU ON TV!

The next day every one got ready to go to the plane, the went through all the security things and Neji had to get his hair Things taken away.

Flash Back

"_NO PLEASE! DON'T TAKE IT AWAY!" _

"_IM SORRY SIR MY DOUGHTER, NEEDS THESE!"_

"_DAMN YOU!!"_

"_Calm down Neji-kun" Tenten said._

"_-sob- Give IT BACK!!" Neji said crying anime style._

"_NEVER!!" The man screamed. Neji never got his hair things back._

End of Flash back

Now they were at the hotel and they had 3 days left till they had to leave.

"Hey Girls why don't we have a girls night out It is Sakura's b-day after all!" Ino Exclaimed.

"YEAH!!" All the girls exclaimed.

"Alright, we wanted to have a guys night out any way." Sasuke said.

"And they all left In there rented cars." They had two Neji had one and Tenten had one.

Tenten wanted a flame one but they wouldn't let her so she had to use force.

Flash back

"_I'm sorry lady, I cant give you that care Its my daughters!" The man said._

"_GIVE ME THAT DAMN CAR! AND IM NOT A LADY IM A TEEN!! AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER!! I WANT THAT CAR!! OR ELESE!!" She said as she took out a Kuni and suck in in the counter_

_The man grew silent and shakily gave the keys to Tenten. As she was about to pick back up her kuni the man fainted! And fell on the floor._

"…… _Should we help him or something?" Sakura asked._

"_I-I think so" Hinata Agreed._

"_He'll be fine" Tenten said._

"_Are you sure?" Ino said looking at him._

"_YES!!" Tenten said as she held the kuni in a stabbing position._

"_OKAY!" The said quickly._

"_Good"_

End of flash back.

"So girls lets go to a bar wada' ya' say !?" Ino exclaimed driving.

"Okay"

"I-I don't m-mind"

"Yeah!"

"Then lets go!!" Ino exclaimed as she speed up.

--with the guys on the street's--

"Was that the girls?" Shikamaru asked.

"I think so…" Sasuke replied.

-With the girls-

The girls finally reached the bar and had a contest to see who would get drunk the most.

Hinata won! And winded up getting 20 dollars form each of the girls who were also drunk.

"Dddaamn iit He-he- Heniata" Ino slurred.

"y-yosh als liiikes wosh!" Hinata said.

"Yosh ars!" Sakura argued.

"Dudes That's dudes is Smexy" Tenten slurred

"Lets Gets Outs Ofs Heres" Sakura said.

"WOITSH!" The all exclaimed drunk as hell.

--

"HEY'S YOU YOU'S FLY'S OPENS!!" SAKURA YELLED!!

"What the hell?" The guy said looking down.

"HE LOOKSHED DOWN!!" HIINATA EXCLAMIED.

"HEY I'Z SAW YOU'Z ON TV!! " INO SAID TO A BIKE RIDER PASSING BYE AS HE CRASHED INTO THE MAIL BOX.

"HA HA!!!" They all started laughing the asses off.

"LOOK'S THERE'S A GROUP OF GUY'S THERE'S" TENTEN SAID DRIVING.

"HEY SMEXY GUY'S" SAKURA YELLED WHEN THERE WAS A RED LIGHT.

The guys looked at her shocked.

"YOUR FLY'S OPEN'S" They all said.

The dudes looked down and heard; MADE YOUS LOOK!

Then they all looked up and one yelled; 'SAKURA ILL GET YOU FOR THAT!!'

Suddenly the girls stopped laughing and looked at the guys again. Once there vision cleared a bit they say something they wished they didn't see. Sasuke, Neji, Shikamaru, And Naruto. All looking pissed that there Girl Friends made fun of them in public.

"Shit" They all said.

"Drive!!" Sakura said as she saw Sasuke come up to the car.

"But its red." Tenten Said. Then all the guys came walking up.

"DRIVE!" Ino, Hinata, and Sakura yelled.

Then Tenten floored all across town to there hotel.

"That was the scariest thing I have ever seen!" Sakura said.

Just then the window flew open and there was Itachi Waving his hand around.

"Kisamie please take The pinky My nails are still wet!" Itachi wined.

"Gah Itachi You're a guy act like it!" Kisamie said as he picked up Sakura and left.

"Okay now that was the scariest thing I've ever seen" Sakura said as she just knocked out from all the sake..

-To be continued-

Read and review people thanks.


	4. WHY?

_**Mena: Okay people! I'm getting kind of sick of this story but ill finish it for you guys. So If you can will you please give me some ideas to put in here cause I'm running out of them. So read and review thanks!**_

_**Tenten: She dose not own Naruto. Enjoy this fanfic!**_

Ch 4: WHY!?

When the boys got back to the hotel they came to a sight that was… umm.. Color full, Yeah that it color full! So Anyway when I say that I mean This;

"OH MY FUKING GOD! WTF WAS THAT! THIS DAMN CRAPPY SON OF A BITCH!" Tenten screamed out of control with her mouth. She kept swearing, and pacing. Ino on the other hand.

"Why!? -sob- WHY!? -sob- Damn It, My eye liner is all over the place now! -sob- My hair to! -sob-" Yup She was crying for who knows why.

"O-o-o-o-o-o… m-m-m… g-g-g-g-!-!-!" (OMG) And that was Hinata for ya' She was stuttering like crazy! Just standing there saying omg over and over again, while holding a sheet of paper in her hand.

The boys looked at one another, and then looked back at the girls like they were crazy. Sasuke noticed something different though, He looked around and couldn't find who he was looking for.

"Where's Sakura!?" He demanded. The boys looked around and couldn't find her either.

"-sob- I-I -sob-" Ino stuttered.

"What?" Sasuke and Shikamaru asked confused, as they gathered around her to hear what she was saying.

"-sob- Itachi!!" She yelled out. Shikamaru covered his ears and Sasuke.. Well…. Looked at her with a amused/ shocked face. -Brain processing Information- Every one grew quit looking at Sasuke to see his reaction.

"Oh my Fucking god.." Tenten said simply. Neji quickly covered his girlfriends mouth before she could say anything else.

5

4

3

2

1

"SAY WHAT!!!?!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!"

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Why Kiba look! It's a youthful avalanche!" Lee exclaimed.

"… Every time.. I'm put on a mission with you stuff like this always happens." Kiba stated.

"I think we should run" Shino stated.

"I hate you all right Akamaru."

"arf!"

"AAAAaaaa!!"

For my own reasons this scene will be replaced by a song and a happy smile picture.

_A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes When Your Fast Asleep- _"OMG! I Wish Gai Could see me now!" BONK! ((Shut up! I'm trying to sing here!)) "- Ouch! Sorry!"

((Ahem!))

_No matter how your heart is dreaming- _"Run Akamaru!" "Arf!" ((Ah Screw it!))

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"H-he left t-this letter f-for you S-sasuke" Hinata stuttered handing him the letter in her hand. He snatched it away and red it;

_Dear, little foolish less hotter brother_

_I have captured your little girlfriend, If you want her back come alone to the forest behind the hotel at 10:30 tomorrow. If you don't come alone.. I will personally kill her. And remember.. I am hotter and sexier then you and I have had 10 girl friends in one night! Take that you dumb foolish brother with dumb hair! HA!_

_From your only wonder full,_

_Brother Itachi Uchiha! (Still hotter!)_

Sasuke ran his hand through his hair and murdered; "I like my hair.."

"What was that teme!" Naruto yelled. "dobe.." "HEY!"

-_**To Be Continued!**_-

_**Mena: Well how was that!? Read and review TY! Sorry it was so short.**_


	5. UGLY

_**Mena: Yeah Hi. I don't own Naruto!**_

_**Neji: Just Get on with the story!**_

_**Mena: How bout' no!**_

_**Neji: Your wasting other peoples time!**_

_**Mena: But they are most likely just scrolling through this.**_

_**Neji: Your wasting their time by making them scroll through this crap!!**_

_**Mena: ((sigh)) Fine! **_

_**Ch 5: Reach the forest!**_

"Shit! I'm Late! Where is my fucking headband!?" Sasuke fumed looking every single place he could think of, just to find his stupid headband. Yes Sakura was being currently on hold because of a headband.

"Calm down teme! I think I saw it in the bathroom!" Naruto yelled.

"Oh Yeah!" He said as realization hit him. He walked to the bathroom but found it locked.

"OI!! Who the fuck is in there!?" He yelled frustrated.

"Shut up Uchiha!" Neji yelled from the inside of the bathroom.

"Gah! Hurry Up!!" He yelled once again.

20 Min. have passed by now and Sasuke was currently beating up the wall, Ino was yelling at Sasuke telling him to forget the fucking headband and go get Sakura!

"Tenten I cant take it anymore tell your fucking boy friend to get out of that damn bathroom! Sakura needs help and Sasuke is being a big fat Ass whole!" Hinata yelled without stuttering. Every looked at her in disbelief till she yelled again.

"Well!?!?"

"Yes! Of course… Be right back." Tenten said rushed and jogged to the restroom.

--

Knock, Knock!

"Neji It's me Tenten can you please come out of the restroom?" She asked sweetly.

"No!" He yelled like a little kid.

"pwetty pwess?" She asked like a kid as well, somewhat mocking him.

"I said NO Tenten leave me the fuck alone!"

"That's it! Neji Hyuga get your ass out her this instant!" She yelled mad as ever.

No response.

"tch…" She stepped in front of the door and 1 2 3! CHARGE! Bang!

The door was successfully open and Tenten came in to view of the one and only Neji with a bag over his head. Neji turned to look at Tenten with a shocked expression.

"Tenten what are you doing!?!?" He yelled.

"Neji! What are you doing!?!? You have a bag over your head and you- your not using the restroom and give me that!" she reached on top of the sink and got Sasukes headband.

"SASUKE!! GET OVER HERE!!!"

"I am here! Kami! Thanks tenten… IM OUT!!" He yelled to everyone and left with door slamming behind him.

---

"Okay Neji what are you doing in here?" Tenten asked once again only a lot calmer.

"Tenten.." He said softly and took off the bag on his head.

"What?" She asked.

"Look at me… I-m I'm hideous!"

"Umm.." She looked at him but only saw same old Neji.

"…."

"My hair! Has split ends!!" He said as if the world was going to end in three seconds. And decided to spend those three seconds with his hair then with Tenten.

"Oh my god Neji You Are ugly!" And right then Ino and Hinata cam behind tenten and started singing;

Hinata- "U-G-L-Y!!"

Ino- "You ant got no alibi!"

Both and.. Naruto!?- "You ugly! Aye aye you ug-"

Tenten- "Your retards!" She chimed sweetly, went in the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

----

Well Sasuke was running to the forest But got stopped when he heard someone whispering. He looked around for a bit and meet with Shikamaru on the floor going back and forth like a crazy person, whispering; 1408 bad room, over and over again.

"Shikamaru? What are you doing."

Shikamaru looked up and Sasuke meet with baggy dark eyes.

"I- I just saw this movie man, A-and it was all like 1408 has ghost and stuff. W-well you know We have the room 1408!" He said and continued rocking back and forth still saying what he was saying.

"Baka.." He said and left right away.

His first priority is Sakura right now and he doesn't need anyone getting in the way!

-10 min later Sasuke in the forest-

"Itachi!!!" Sasuke yelled looking for his brother and Sakura.

"Foolish little brother" Itachi sneered as he held and unconscious Sakura in his arms.

_**To be continued read and review**_


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